Tag Archives: funny

WALKING ON WATER AND THE JESUS LIZARD

Jesus_Walking_on_Water

On a windy day, a couple fella’s got on a ship to cross the sea of Galilee. Somebody must have counted all the people on the ship and realized that someone was missing. They looked back and saw a sight they would never forget, the missing man from the boat was following them by walking on water! The man was none other than Jesus himself. One of the people on the ship, named Peter, jumped in to the water and started walking on water too! But he started drowning once he started losing faith in God, and Jesus helped him back on the ship. I am sure that everybody in the ship was yelling “me next!” and “pick me!”, but all accounts say that Jesus just got back on the ship, despite the fact that he really did not need it.

First of all, do not try this at home kids. A couple months ago in the western coast of Africa, an evangelist, Pastor Frank Kabele claimed in his congregation that in the following week he would repeat for them a biblical miracle. He stated that with enough faith, he could walk on water just like Jesus from a beach in Gabon’s capital of Libreville. He said that he would walk across Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat to cross. An eyewitness stated that “He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back.” Let’s partake in a moment of silence…so you could read that statement over again and laugh out loud.

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As unlikely as this occurrence sounds, people have hypothesized what would have caused this event if Jesus existed and the disciples actually saw what they saw. Professor Doron Nof, a professor of Oceanography, states that it is more likely that a rare integration of “optimal water and atmospheric conditions” caused the water to freeze in to a phenomenon called springs ice, which allowed Jesus to walk on water. So he was walking on ice rather than water. That explains why he got in the ship, he was getting frost bite on his big toe.

According to this story, Jesus holds the record as the only man to walk on water. But reptiles claim their own record holding Jesus.

The reptile with the ability to walk on water is called basilisks, or the Jesus Lizard. The Jesus Lizard is about 3 inches long and weighs about 3 ounces. They have flaps between their toes which help create a large surface area when their feet splash against the water, creating a pocket of air which helps them run and avoid water resistance. The Jesus Lizard treads water at a rate of 5 feet per second for about 15 feet. So saying that it could walk on water is an understatement, the Jesus Lizard is actually sprinting on water.

Not saying that the Jesus Lizard is better than Jesus, but that is a race I would DVR.

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